About Me

My photo
Mysteries, polka dots, California Rolls, TJ Maxx, cozy blankets, rainy days and getting the first spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar make me smile. Spiders, rude people, cold fingers and toes, baby leashes, people that don't wrap their packages before going to the Post Office, poison ivy and Math (pretty much all of it) make me want to scream. My perfect day would be spent with my wonderful husband and sweet girls- watching movies in our jammies! Of course, having the movie theater to ourselves would be great, too. Please pass the popcorn and M&M's.:) I am saved by the grace of God. He is my constant companion and hears my every prayer. What a blessing! I'd love to hear from you! Lori at toosillysisters@cox.net

Friday, July 1, 2016

Don't Go to Bed Angry Stay Up and Fight- How to Fight (Together) for your Marriage!

Conflict in marriage is not the problem. It’s how we deal with it that makes it a problem. Learn how to deal with the conflict in Deb and Ron DeArmond’s new book, Don’t Go to Bed Angry. This is a book of tools, concepts, and worksheets designed to help each couple achieve the vision that God had when He placed Adam and Eve in the garden. Unity. Agreement. Power—found in marriage only when we authentically become one flesh. Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship.

My Thoughts:

Marriage. Honeymoon. It all seems so easy in the beginning. Love will get us through, right? Yep, we've all been there. Until that first disagreement, the first squabble. Wait a second. Should you cry, yell, use the silent treatment?? Pick your poison, but none of these will help you win. You know why?

The enemy is not your spouse.

The devil wants you to argue.
He wants you to hate.
He wants to rip apart your marriage.

I was never taught how to verbally fight- let alone fight for my marriage. Were you? It's a skill that most of us thought we'd never need. Whether you're single, dating or married, there's a pretty good chance that you will. Don't go to Bed Angry- Stay Up and Fight, by Deb & Rob DeArmond is a wonderful tool for dealing with conflict and coming to a resolution. The authors skillfully guide you through their techniques by using marriage stories. It's almost like sitting in couples therapy- very insightful!

This book has rules. Simple, but very helpful rules that guide you along. As couples we need a PLAN. Having a plan in life is better than just "winging it", don't you agree? I've been winging it for so long you'd think that I had sprouted wings! This book will help you to prepare for your next argument, cause you know it's out there!

BEFORE an issue arises, keep these guidelines in mind...

-The word of God is the blueprint for life as believers
-Not in front of the kids
-Don't use the "D" word
-Exclude violence

As you ENTER the discussion:

-Timing is everything (When you're tired, hungry, etc. it's best to wait)
-You must both actively work toward peace.
-If it's not a big deal, don't make it a big deal.

Don't go to Bed Angry- Stay Up and Fight offers more helpful guidelines in the book. They make sense and are simple to utilize. I felt relieved and hopeful reading this book as I now view my husband as my teammate and not the opposite team! I also felt guilty as I realize that my silent treatment is quite childish and destructive. Yes, that's my go to method of fighting. I don't know how to verbalize my needs/wants so I sulk. That is going to change now that I'm more knowledgeable and empowered. I don't desire to fight with my husband but now I view conflict as a means to potential (and welcome) change and healthy discussion. A must read!


Don’t Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight (Abingdon Press, June 2016)
A practical handbook on how to fight better—together—for your marriage.
In every marriage, there is conflict. And with every conflict, there is a choice for resolution. Will you ignore the issue until it seemingly goes away? Or will you work together to find peace?
In Don’t Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Conflict isn’t the problem, after all; the real issue is how we deal with the conflict. Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship. Immensely practical features including worksheets and discussion questions make this a definitive go-to resource to help you start fighting—together—for your marriage.
Deb DeArmond


Deb DeArmond is an author, speaker, and coach with a focus on communication, relationships, and conflict resolution. Her writing explores marriage, parenting, in-law and extended family relationships. She is the author of “Related By Chance, Family By Choice” and “I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last.” Deb is the founder of Living-Write, where she coaches aspiring authors. She’s monthly columnist and feature writer for Lifeway’s “Mature Living” Magazine, and has published more than 120 articles online and in print publications. ||**|| Ron DeArmond has a hungry heart for the Word, and has studied the Bible for 45+ years. Ron’s call to serve men is evident in his previous ministry positions with Christian Men’s Network under Dr. Edwin Lewis Cole and Faithful Men Ministry. Ron is currently the Associate Pastor of men’s ministry at Catch the Fire/ DFW and has ministered around the world. The DeArmonds live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.
Find out more about Deb at http://debdearmond.com.

*I was given this helpful book by Litfuse in exchange for my honest opinion. No other compensation was received.*